My journey...

It is easier said than done. Trust. Sometimes in trusting Him, it makes me think if He even exist. Life is a journey. Life in the Kingdom is a greater journey. Often filled with test and lessons. The longer the journey, the tougher the test. The greater the lessons.

I was pondering upon Faith. Abraham, our Father of faith still doubted God and put things in his own hands and slept with his maid despite the promise of a son. The promise of offspring greater than the stars in the sky.

How hard it is to trust. How difficult it is to hang on to faith when situations seem so bleak. You keep believing in that miracle yet it does not seem to come. Or perhaps our miracle is wanting things done our way. "It has to happen this way Lord." When we say we have faith, at the back of our mind, we want it to turn out this way or that. And if it goes into another direction, we give up hope. Maybe we should be like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who was thrown into the fiery furnace and they said "My God shall save me but even if He does not we will still worship Him."

No matter what our testing or trial, no matter if our prayers were answered, or not, we will still serve Him. Is that faith? To totally abandon oneself to Him? No matter the outcome. Trusting that His ways are higher than ours. As I started out saying, "It is easier said than done." We will surely have heartbreaks and times of saddness. Having faith does not mean we are void of emotions. Despite the emotions, we still say we trust in Him. Trust in the outcome no matter how much it will hurt.

Countless people have turn from their faith cause they say that there is no God. How can there be. If there is a God, my wife will not die. I will not loose my father. I will not be suffering so. I will not be jobless. They rely on their emotions to be their guide. Living in this world how can there be no suffering. But it is through this suffering that we discover God .... if we allow Him to be found.

I find it difficult to trust. The pain is much greater than my faith. Yet, where am I to go? He has the word of eternal life. Through this pain I can see the reality of God still. But the pain remains. It is like you have cut yourself and you go to the doctor to get it stiched. The pain still remains but you are getting treated. God is there to treat my pain but it is still there and God is there.

Nobody but God can tell the future. Nobody but God has your best interest at heart. Who am I to trust but Him.

As Christmas is coming near, churches starts to sing Christmas Carols and we reflect upon the coming of our Christ. This morning as we sang "For its the mystery of the universe, You're the God of Holiness, Yet you welcome souls like me." I suddenly thought about This Christ who came to earth, lived and died. It is such a mystery.

Imagine, Christ came for me yet when He was here on earth, I was not even born yet. I did not even know Him yet He came for me. He sacrificed for someone who did not even know Him. Would I have given my all to a total stranger? To love so greatly even if that love is not realised or returned. There are so many who chose to turn from Him yet He gave His all to them too. For generations to come, The birth of Christ is more than just an event in history. He came to show the way to the Father and it was not only applicable during the time Christ was on earth but it will be applicable to many generations to come. Pointing the way to the Kingdom.

The work of the Cross is very much emphasised in our Christian faith. It was because Christ died for us, therefore we have eternal life. But lets not forget the Birth of Christ is very important too. Because He lived here for us, we can have and experience the treasures of the Kingdom.

Merry Christmas to all as we celebrate this great love and sacrifice for us even before we were even born.

I have been very busy the past few weeks and I was visiting churches because I was not in my local area. Every church that I went to gave a similar feeling. When I walk into the church, I immediately recognise the vision statement and the purpose statements. All churches seems to have them on their walls. The order of service is always the same no matter which church I go to. Worship, announcements, tithes, then the message. It sort of gives me a familiar feel.

This particular church that I went to, is your typical church. The pastor is your typical charismatic pastor. Went to the stage with your full suit and tie. With the hallelujahs and the Praise the Lord after every few sentences. Though I understood what he said, He was preaching on the power of God. I felt really uncomfortable in the way it was presented. At the end, he gave an altar call and more than half the congregation responded. He was praying for people one by one and at the end of some, he would shout "Release!" and the person falls over. I am not against being slain in the spirit. I was slain before. But I feel like I am watching a show. Maybe I am being too judgemental but I felt out of place. Like I did not belong anymore to such settings. Being like a fish out of water.

The thing is I grew up with these. Hallelujahs and I remember attending seeker services where all these are too familiar to me. Why am I feeling out of place now?Have I strayed away? Have I become too critical? Have I out grew it all? Or is there an outgrowing of the Spirit?

I could not articulate why I am feeling such but I am not going to think too much or dwell upon this. I am saddened that I cannot relate to such "church service" anymore. I do believe in the Holy Spirit and the signs and wonders of God. Yet I will walk close to the Lord as much as I know how.

Teach me Your ways as I walk in Your path. Don't let me be too judgemental but help me to understand.