My journey...

I read this in my devotion today and thought I should share... since I get blessed by it...

No matter how much we desire perfection and completeness, we need to embrace the fact of our limitations. In our broken world, things are less than what we would like them to be. And our own imperfections are writ large on all that we do. This need not drive us to despair. Nor should it prevent us from purposeful activity. We can still do what we must even when a totally satisfactory conclusion eludes us.

Nouwen reminds us that 'there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy'. Our experience of love, no matter how loyal or ecstatic, is marked by selfishness and pain. Even our spiritual experiences do not yield the fruit of perfection. These experiences are frequently marred by doubt and guilt.

Such is our lot. We reach for the sky, but cannot inherit the earth. We long for the good, but frequently produce something that is a pale version of our best intentions. We are like a beautiful princess with feet of clay or like a powerful prince with a physical impediment. Made for God's highest intention, we sometimes fritter away our calling and opportunities. Made for greatness, we easily become side-tracked by our success and power. A profound sadness thus underlies our life.

But our sadness can be turned into joy. This is not a joy that comes from a perpetual striving but a joy that comes in the midst of our pain. It's the of being loved in spite of our imperfections. It's the joy that comes from forgiveness. It's the joy that comes as a gift that we don't deserve. It's the joy that comes as a surprise in spite of ourselves.

Thus in the midst of our pain we can celebrate. In the midst of our broken world we can still dance.

I was suddenly reminded of a song which I have not sang for a long long while. Give Thanks. When I sang this song a long time ago, I remembered the thoughts that would flood my mind. I used to thank Him for what I had. For my car. For the money I had. For the things which I do not lack. Everytime I sang t his song (And it was very often that this song was sung), these will be my thoughts.

But today, as I sang it, my eyes were filled with tears. I no longer have my health. (At least for now). In fact, some days, I cannot even get out of bed. No longer can I buy what I wanted without thinking. Have to be careful with every cent I spend. Feeling like a Job, yet God reminded me to give thanks. Not because of what I had as possessions but because of Christ. Of the hope I have in Him. He has my heart and I have His.

It is difficult to give thanks in such circumstances. To thank Him for the hope I have when I can hardly see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I am walking in the valley. When I am in the desert place and there is no oasis in sight. Yet I shall Praise Him cause He is who He is. I shall still give thanks for I know these moments are precious to Him. Cause I know I am precious to Him.

I give thanks not because of what I have but because of what I have in Him. Of who I am in Him. He gave me the peace that surpasses all understanding. "He will keep me in perfect peace cause my hope and trust is in Him".