My journey...

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some case even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

"God brews the coffee, not the cups.... Enjoy your coffee!
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."
-- Dr. Jamie Higley, D.C.

It started off as what seems like just another day. Then all of a sudden, there was a great commotion outside. Crucify Him! I ran out to have a look and saw a great crowd of people. As I looked past their heads, I saw a group of Roman soldiers flogging a man covered with blood carrying the cross. I asked the crowd what was happening. They said that Jesus is to be crucified. Jesus? The Jesus who I so much admire? I relook at the man carrying the cross. I could not recognise him. His face is covered in blood. His body beaten and raw. I could see parts of His flesh torn out. Who could have done such a terrible thing? Is that The Rabbi who has such insight to God? Infact, he did claim to be the Son of God once. The messiah that was promised. I remembered only a week ago, we have broken palm branches to hail His coming. The one who is going to deliver us. Can't He save Himself? He performed so many miracles. I saw with my own eyes. A man with such power now looked so weak and helpless. Is He really the Son of God? What then will happen if He is to be crucified. I have placed such hope in Him. Believed in His stories. You mean He is not the messiah? Has He been lying to us all along? Hope smashed. Disappointment crept in. Confusion running in my mind. I really did believe that He is the messiah. How can He die in such a disgraceful manner. A death of the criminals. It is a great joke to have placed my hope in what seems to be such a weakling now. Why did I believe? Yet there is still something about Him. Why then did this happen? How could God allow it to happen? Where are you God?

Sometimes, we human with our limited understanding could not comprehend what God is doing. In our mind, certain things have to happen this way or that. If it goes against all human reasoning, then confusion and judgement and disappointment creeps in. What is happening? It says in the bible "His ways are not our ways. It is far greater." Sometimes we may not understand. It may even cause us to doubt Him. To doubt our faith. But blessed are those who believe and yet not understand. Those who hold on to their God even in times of confusion.

Jesus, the promised messiah had to die a death of a criminal though he did not wrong. There was a greater purpose. Though at that moment, many of his followers did not understand. They would have thought that they were cheated. Such confusion and disappointment but in the end, there was a greater promise. God with us. The veil was torn. We could enter into His presence. The prophecy fulfilled.

TRUST.

I have 3 dogs at home. 2 dogs and a bitch. at the moment, the bitch is on heat and the other 2 dogs are going crazy. Our house garden is split into 2 levels and usually, one of my dog will never want to go up the stairs. Perhaps he is getting old and he hates to climb. I will usually have to pull him up the stairs. But yesterday, I saw him climbing up and down the stairs cause we seperated the dogs and the bitch was put at the top level. Chinese have a saying that when you have love, you can survive with only water.

Love makes a person do silly things. Love makes a person to drive 2 hours just to see the other person for 5 minutes. Love makes you give up your own personal desires to accomadate the other person's wishes. Love cause you to make a fool of yourself and you do not care who is watching.

When we love God, we would do crazy things for him too. But like any love, the excitement and passion would soon fade and someone once said to me, "love is a feeling but true love is a commitment". When my bitch is no longer on heat, the dogs actually can't stand her cause she would disturb their peace.

After saying "I do", no matter how hard reality is, you are stuck to that person for life. Not that the love is gone but the lovey dovey feelings maybe gone. Then what?

We may start off being very passionate about the things of God but after a while, what drives us? Many of us get tired and burned out cause at the end, that feeling cannot drive us forever. There need to come a time that we discover actually what drives us. What is that commitment? For husband and wive, it is the relationship that they have for one another that will see them through. For us Christians, I guess it has to be relationship with God.

God will cause us to discover the dark night of the soul to cause us to search deep within ourself who we are, who He is to us and what drives us. There will be times when our journey with God will be hard going and we may even think does God actually exists? A journey where we will really ask the hard questions. The journey where we would really search our purpose. True love is a commitment. Only when you are committed to growing and knowing Him would you actually find Him. Do not give up easily when the going gets tough.

Someone sent me this article about believing in Christ. The question that has been on my mind for ages now. If we say we are Christian, then why do we not believe in EVERYTHING that we see and hear about Him. Why do we disregard the thoughts that seem to be ridiculous to man. For example, God may ask us to give tell a total stranger that He loves him or her or maybe God may ask us to give some paper to the person at a restaurant. Sometimes, when things does not make human sense, we say that it is not God but just our silly thoughts. That if we do, we are just branded as being too radical. Below is part of the article I was sent.

"Make no mistake about it: Jesus was radical in the things He said and taught, and in the way He lived. He came to set a new example of what life is all about. Generally speaking, mankind has turned Christianity into another religion with a set of commandments to try to keep the people in a "righteous way" of living. But that has never worked ~ not in the Old Testament and certainly not in the New. To know and follow Jesus is not adhering to a mental assent on "Christian theology." It is coming to Christ in true repentance, which is then demonstrated by a total surrender to His will for our lives. To know His will means that we need to listen to and heed His voice. The voice of God will always be confirmed by the principles of the Scriptures. The power of God is determined by how we believe what He says (by His Holy Spirit and the written Word, the Scriptures), and how we respond to that voice. It is no use our saying we believe God and then do not respond to what He says! lf our believing is not strong enough for us to totally commit to it, then we are being hypocritical (double minded) . . . we are simply "play-acting" Christianity. And that is a powerless way to live."

I desire to see the Kingdom here on earth. Not just a bunch of people who live loving one another but also with the power of God demonstrated. The signs and wonders. The acts that bring people to be in awe of our Mighty and awesome God.

As I was welcoming the year 2008, I could literally feel the pressure going off my back. Perhaps it was also psychological.

I remembered at the beginning of 2007, I prayed "God, let me know you this year like I have never known you before no matter what it takes..... No matter what it takes. And God does not bring us through a journey that is a bed of roses to cause us to know Him. It is often in the hard times. In the times of brokenness, that is when you see His strength. That is when you realised you are only human who need a saviour.

Though 2007 has been somewhat "challenging", I would say it has been a year where I learn to cling to God. Like Henri Nouwen would put it, I learned to "dance" with God. I have heard so many sermons that says "Put your faith in God when you encounter storms. He will bring you over the storm." " when you are in the midst of a storm, God will cause you to be soaring above so that you look at it from a distance and as you see the sea raging, you are soaring like an eagle above." Or there is even this one which says "God will cause you to be below sea level. SO when the storms and winds are above and the waves are high, you cannot feel the impact of the storm for below sea level, everything will appear calm."

When the disciples were crossing the sea and the storm came, they were not above nor were they under. They were just there in the midst of the storm.

If I were to describe my 2007, it was like I have been in the middle of the storm. Amidst the loneliness, confusions, frustrations, disappointments. There seems to be nobody who understood what I was going through. All too quick to give me answers. "It must be that you are not walking right with God. That is why you do not sense His peace". And who says that walking with God, you are somehow shielded from problems? That is why there are so many disillusioned christians out there who runs away from their problems. Somehow disassociate themselves from their problems by lying to themselves.

It is in these times where God is drawing me near Him. I realised that I have no one who understands me except Him. Sometimes He even asked me to do things where no human mind could comprehend and do I stay on the "safe" plain or do I follow? I experienced the peace beyond understanding. I learned to walk with Him. Bringing me constantly to a place of aloneness with Him.

"Mourning means facing what wounds us in the presence of one who can heal us". And it is often when we experience times of brokenness and mourning that we find the giver of life to be so real in our lives.

Victory is not when the storm is over and we find peace and happiness again. The most treasured moments is when you learn to "dance" with Him in the midst of the hard times. That is when we should rejoice (If we can) that we have the privilege to know Him in a deeper way. The cross invites us to see grace in the midst of pain. Mourning and dancing are part of the same movement of grace. To bring us to a place of brokenness so that there will be life in Him. Having wisdom in the inner most part. (psalm 51). The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken spirit and a contrite heart, He will not despise.

Did I regret going through 2007? I would not say so. The Kingdom of God is priceless and there is a price to pay. Like the parable of the pearl of great price. Once you find something valuable, you would sell all you have to gain it. I would not say that I am out of my storm. I do not know what is installed for me this year. But I know this. I will trust in Him who walks with me. Yet will I praise Him.