My journey...

Everyone is on a search for Romantic love. The otherday, a school friend whom I have not spoken to for a long long time called me out of the blue. First question is "how are you?" (obviously) and then followed by "Are you married"? After finding out that I am not, next question was, "Why not?" My school friends all seem to think that I will be one of the first to be married. I have no idea why. But we are all in the search for love. Success according to the world is when you have a good job and then start your own family. Then you have it made. But is that all to life? Are we measured by our success in being able to find romantic love? If you can't find it by a certain age, then there must be something wrong with you.

I can't say that I was not subjected to that pressure. Sometimes I wonder if I will have my own family. But I trust that God is my match maker. Last Sunday, George Martinez (our speaker) said "Do you believe that God is in control of the events happening in the world? Do you believe that God is in control of your life?"

If we can trust God with our career and other things why not our life partner? That He will know the right time and have the right person. I don't dent that many times, I try to choose whom will suite me best but everytime, I will tell God that if that person is not for me, then let the relationship not go further. It hardly ever did.

This is when my emotions always gets in the way of my will. My emotion says I want a relationship and want to start my own family but I still want His will to be done. Patience starting to run out.

Read something written by Fleming H. Revell 1916. See to it that your will is in God's hands, that your inward self is abandoned to His working, that your choice, your decision, is on His side; and there leave it. Your surging emotions, like a tossing vessel at anchor, which by degrees yield to the steady pull of the cable, finding themselves attached to the mighty power of God by the choice of your will, must inevitably come into captivity, and give in their allegience to Him; and you will sooner or later verify the truth of the saying that, "if any man will do His will he shall know of the doctrine".

This is so true. Our emotion and our will (of wanting His will be done) seems to always be in tension. Three times, I want relationship to take fruit but surrendered it to Him and He wont allow it to happen. Of course I will be saddened for awhile but if it is not His will, then I know that I will not be happy with it. But I can assure you that when you are wanting it to happen, it takes a struggle for me to let go. But now that time has passed, I can see why He did not allow it to happen. As we surrender our will to God, He will honor that and guide our path. In my journey in life, its filled with a series of surrendering and trusting. I hope that I will not have to go through this heartache again.

In the world, people search everywhere for that romantic love. In His Kingdom, He is our match-maker. He has his perfect timing for everything. This is my decision. I am trusting in Him for my soul mate. I know my emotions will run wild again but I will for His will in my life.