My journey...
Sunday, March 23, 2008
He is Risen
He is Risen!
That through him, we may rediscover faith:
in ourselves, in our world, in our God.
He is Risen!
That through him we may rekindle hope
for the abandoned, for the despairing, for the dreamless.
He is Risen
that through him we may restore love
to those from whom we have kept it.
To those who are most near us, to those we will never meet, to all and everything.
He is Risen. Alleluia!
That through him, we may rediscover faith:
in ourselves, in our world, in our God.
He is Risen!
That through him we may rekindle hope
for the abandoned, for the despairing, for the dreamless.
He is Risen
that through him we may restore love
to those from whom we have kept it.
To those who are most near us, to those we will never meet, to all and everything.
He is Risen. Alleluia!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
What are you doing Lord?
Sometime in the year 2006, when I first started this blog, i really got excited about revelations and wanting to know the truth. I saw a certain side of Christianity that I have never seen before. Fresh insights to church and Kingdom. I went on a quest to wanting to find out more. Meditations that help me "understand" what this kingdom of God is really about. May not be right but what I found out brought new insights to my faith.
Then, it was last year that I started not to be able to sit quietly. Not able to concentrate. Something in me was unsettling. That excitement of wanting to know... that childlike awe was suddenly taken from me. God seems so far away. Till I wanted to get away from it all. What I was going through does not seem to make sense yet I kept trying to analyse it like I always do. Other Christians try to analyse my life for me too.
Now sitting here, I realise that I have pushed God aside. Pushed him into my intellect. Put Him in a box. My quest to want to find out about the Kingdom and feeding my intellect does not build relationship. It does not build heart knowledge. I have to get what I desire in my intellect to my heart. At times I go into meditation in order to get new revelation but not to be with Him. I have my priorities all wrong. I was doing things to feed my intellect not my spirit.
Now, God just requires me to realise He is there. To know His presence. There are times where I will just be driving and I know He is there and I will start to cry... for no apparent reason at all. He is making my heart alive again and I cannot reason it out. Questions that I always ask when I "spend" time with Him... What is He doing? Where is He taking me? What is He saying to me? Perhaps there should be no reason at all but simply that He wants to spend time with me. Even if it is just to let me know He is there. To enjoy this journey with Him. To do things together. Things that I like doing.
I have always thought that to be a Christian I have to understand how to be a Christian. There seems to be so many things to learn. How to pray. How to talk. How to act. When you are put in a church, there seems to be so many rules and you are put in classes to learn. The aim so that you can be a teacher to others. Not that learning is not important. Not that feeding the intellect is not important. But there needs to be a time to be ourself. That is who He has made me to be. Not to push aside our character and passion for life to be a robotic Christian. Mass produced by the church to be the same in actions words and deeds. But where is the life? The life with God.
I do have lots to learn but not in a way that would satisfy my intellect. Not in a way that would make me be just like everyone else.
Then, it was last year that I started not to be able to sit quietly. Not able to concentrate. Something in me was unsettling. That excitement of wanting to know... that childlike awe was suddenly taken from me. God seems so far away. Till I wanted to get away from it all. What I was going through does not seem to make sense yet I kept trying to analyse it like I always do. Other Christians try to analyse my life for me too.
Now sitting here, I realise that I have pushed God aside. Pushed him into my intellect. Put Him in a box. My quest to want to find out about the Kingdom and feeding my intellect does not build relationship. It does not build heart knowledge. I have to get what I desire in my intellect to my heart. At times I go into meditation in order to get new revelation but not to be with Him. I have my priorities all wrong. I was doing things to feed my intellect not my spirit.
Now, God just requires me to realise He is there. To know His presence. There are times where I will just be driving and I know He is there and I will start to cry... for no apparent reason at all. He is making my heart alive again and I cannot reason it out. Questions that I always ask when I "spend" time with Him... What is He doing? Where is He taking me? What is He saying to me? Perhaps there should be no reason at all but simply that He wants to spend time with me. Even if it is just to let me know He is there. To enjoy this journey with Him. To do things together. Things that I like doing.
I have always thought that to be a Christian I have to understand how to be a Christian. There seems to be so many things to learn. How to pray. How to talk. How to act. When you are put in a church, there seems to be so many rules and you are put in classes to learn. The aim so that you can be a teacher to others. Not that learning is not important. Not that feeding the intellect is not important. But there needs to be a time to be ourself. That is who He has made me to be. Not to push aside our character and passion for life to be a robotic Christian. Mass produced by the church to be the same in actions words and deeds. But where is the life? The life with God.
I do have lots to learn but not in a way that would satisfy my intellect. Not in a way that would make me be just like everyone else.
