My journey...

Yesterday, our church speaker was excellent. He was L.T Jeyachandran. Something which he said which caused me to tear is...
.... "God is worthy of our worship because He is a great God. A God beyond understanding. A God who created the heavens and the earth. God is also worthy of worship cause He is an approachable God who loves us and allows us to call Him Father."

L.T. was teaching on our identity. We are who we are because of who we relate to. I am Janelle His beloved daughter. I am His daughter despite of what I do. What I achieve. A lot of people have been placing their security and identity in what they do or what they can achieve. I am a well known Lawyer or a heart specialist. I went to Harvard and have 3 PHDs to my name. Living life behind the mask of false identity. Trying to achieve more to our name. To be up in society. So that others look up to us.

This message of identity have been preached in our church for more than two times in the past months. It is not a surprise cause God is working in the lives of many individuals in the church regarding who we really are. If He were to strip down all our securites. All we hope in, could we still stand firm. Would we still know who we really are? He is teaching us to trust in Him with the things not seen. In order to have faith in Him, we need to know Him whom we are to have faith in. And in order for us to feel secure, we need to know who we are to Him. How are we related to Him. We can know that God is someone great yet without knowing how we are relating to Him, just knowing God is someone great would not give us much hope and security.

If we are secure in who we are, we no longer am afraid even if people want to take advantage of us. We can be able to turn the other cheek. We no longer demand for our rights. We allow God to be the judge. We will see things with a different perspective. We do things out of love with the joy of God. Haha not that we become disillusioned and walk around as if being high on drugs. Perhaps it is a different kind of high. I do not know. God is still teaching me and revealing to me who I really am.

He has taken away who I am in terms of what I do. A youth leader. Now as I step back, why do I do the things I do? Perhaps I feel I am worth more in the kingdom if I am a leader? The things that you achieve as you enter the church? In some churches, you start to be an usher, then you attend prayer meetings, you become a children church teacher, if you have the potential then you are allowed to lead a small group, then you attend courses and you become a leader.... that is how it is. I am finding back my heart and the joy in the context to who I am. Then out of that, whatever He has called me to do, will be different. I may be doing the same thing but my heart condition and my motives will be different. I will not be pressured to be the best of what I am trying to be in the eyes of man. I will not be pressured to conform to the world in the way the world does things just to be well known so that I get the glory and feeds into my security.